yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
