So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
