they need to just BURY HIM!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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