shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
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He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
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Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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