he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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