I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
