consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
