I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
