never play flip cup with pint glasses
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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