Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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