Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Randomize