you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
