I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
