One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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