how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
