We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
