Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
