Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
