for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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