The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
