im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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