It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
