im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
