Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize