just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
