Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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