I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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