Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
