no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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