i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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