you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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