have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
