Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize