You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
