420 ftw
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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