apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
