I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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