So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
