is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
