i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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