Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
