She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
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Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
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So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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