home. puking in laundry basket.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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