So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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