I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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