I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
