the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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