yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
