He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
