I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
