you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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