so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
