no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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