Me too!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
