I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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