3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
